I was up 1.8 pounds on the scale today. That puts me at 210.2 pounds. I am not surprised. I need to really make an effort this week to stay on program.

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Well, That Was TERRIBLE

I went for a 5K today at 10 AM. Since I have been SUPER stressed (home stuff, unemployment, etc.) AND since I have been eating everything not (and) nailed down this week, I felt like I had to do SOMETHING. It was my first time running in 10 weeks.

My arm hurt – which was surprising because, two weeks ago, I thought I had really turned a corner with it and would be pain free from there out (although not as strong with it). But, I felt pain in the elbow when running. I guess I just can’t keep my arm bent for long?

Today’s running was a total failure. At the 1.07 mile mark (WTF!) I had to break it down. From there, I did the alternating walk/jog – and it was MOSTLY walk. My heart felt like it was going to explode and my lungs were BURNING. All told, it took me 37:32 to cover the 3.1 miles.

Wow. I am in shit shape.

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Down, 1.2 pounds this week – which is amazing considering what I ate some of the time.

This erases the last week and puts me back at 208.4 pounds, down 11 over all.

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Up 1.2 pounds this week on the scale. Not a shocker. I have not really been tracking all that much.

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How Did That Happen?

It was not a good week. I caved and got a (22 point) brownie on Friday night. Then I took the family out to eat on Saturday and I over did it with a burger and fries. I doubled that, going out with my mother on Monday and had another burger and fries. And, last night, I went out with my son and his friend and had another burger – although no fries. I also was too loose and easy with the snacks and tastes this week. So, I was prepared for a bad day on the scale today at my weekly WW meeting.

I got on the scale and it said 208.4 pounds, which was down 1.2 pounds from last week. And, it has be at a total of 11 pounds down in the last 4 weeks.

I felt like that lady on the IKEA commercial screaming “Start the car! Start the car!”

No idea how this happened? But, I will take it!

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Not Happy

I was only down 1.2 pounds this week. How? I really followed the program.

In total, now, in 3 weeks, I have lost 9.8 pounds. That’s great. But, I lost most of that in the first week.

They had me at 209.6 pounds today. Sure, that’s better than 219. However, I still have a LONG way to go. And, if it’s happening at one pound per week, it’s going to take FOREVER. I need to get this done within the next 10 weeks.

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Lost one pound this week. That’s it. Puts me at a total of 8.6 pounds lost over two weeks (since going back to Weight Watchers). Overall number is 210.8 – which is at least 25 pounds too much. Hopefully the next week will have better results.

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Week One Is Always Fun

I lost 7.6 pounds in my first week back at Weight Watchers. Having a little stomach flu this week also helped. That puts me at 211.8 pounds. Still, way, way, overweight. I still need to lose between 27 and 40 pounds to be at a good weight. I would be thrilled to lose another 33 pounds. And, losing another 27 would make me happy at this point.

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Weight Watchers – Take 4

I signed up for Weight Watchers today. I had to do it. Things are out of control. Good timing, by chance. It was four years ago today, to the very day, that I lost my Weight Watchers Lifetime status – after maintaining it for SEVEN years.

I was on WW from 6/21/06 until 1/11/14 – and was Lifetime from 1/31/07 until 1/11/14. I had dropped 65 pounds and kept it off for SEVEN YEARS. Then, I started this slide.

I went back to WW on 11/6/14, after a 10 month layoff. That lasted until 3/23/15. Only 5 months. Then, I went back on 12/9/15 (after an 8 month layoff). That lasted 6 months until I quit again on 6/16/16 (when I was laid off).

That was a year and seven months ago. And, now I am back again – a third attempt after losing it the first time.

They had me at 219.4 pounds. That was wearing jeans and an arm brace. But, it’s about right.

I used to think my perfect weight was 172 or 174 pounds. At this rate, I will do a dance if I can get to 185 pounds.

Thirty five pounds is a lot. It would be great if I could get it off over the next 13 weeks. That would be April 12th. I really need to try and make this work.

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That’s the number on the scale today. Not shocking considering how much crap I ate over the holidays. Now is the time to do something. I am even considering going back to Weight Watchers – once the New Year’s gang comes and goes.

No running. It’s been arctic cold here – every day. Real feel in the single digits, for like forever.

And, my arm is KILLING ME. The Celebrex helped with the pain. But, now I am off that (after two weeks on it). It’s been 6 weeks since I injured it.

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Something, Better Than Nothing

I went for a 5K run before lunch today. First time in 9 days. Layoff extended due to family obligations and my arm which is killing me – so bad that it keeps me up at night, aching.

Got to 1.45 miles without stopping. Then did the alternating walk/jog. Total time for the 3.1 miles was 34:25. Still, worked up a sweat.

The arm is not good. This coming Sunday will be one month since the injury. My PT guy thinks it’s all inflammation. Today is my third day on Celebrex. Hopefully that makes a difference.

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“Some” Progress

Scale last week was 215. This morning, it was 211.2 pounds. That’s better than nothing or a gain.

Still haven’t been able to run again. Way too cold outside and my arm is killing me – which is not a good sign since it’s been 3 weeks since it was injured.

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I went for a 5K run before lunch today. It was interesting – and it hurt to have my arm bent while running.

I made it to 1.37 miles before having to break down into the alternating walk/jog. And, it was a lot of walking. Total time for the 3.1 miles was 34:47 – which was just about my time for my last run.

99% of the time, this is all terrible.

But, this was my first time running in 53 days. And, it was only my second time running in the last 237 days. So, anything here is a positive.

It’s start, right?

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Two Days Later

212.8 on the scale this morning after a busy day yesterday where I had little time to eat, much less snack.  That’s down a lot, in two days.  Staying busy is important.

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Starts Now

Good news:  No surgery for my tendon tear.  It’s a partial.  So, we’re going to try and rehab it with 6 weeks of P.T.

Bad news:  Up to 215 pounds now.  I really feel it when I walk.  That’s 30 to 35 pounds too much.

Worse news:  I got laid off from my job yesterday.  This is the 4th time in 10 years.  So, obviously, it’s me.  At least this gives me some time to focus on my own health for a change.

How long?  Not sure?  The first time I was laid off, it took me 4 months to find a new job.  The second time, it was zero – I was laid off in December and found a new job in January.  Last time, it was a full year out of work – and it was brutal. This time?  Hopefully it’s less than 3 months.  We’ll see…

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Beyond Rock Bottom

Well, I am now 55.   And, when I look back to where I was when I has 50, it’s beyond depressing.

When I was 50, I weighed 178 pounds and could run a 5K race in less than 25 minutes.  Today, I weigh 212 pounds – yes, two-twelve! – and I can’t run a mile without having to break it down to a walk.

30 pounds overweight now.  Ugh.

But, wait (no pun intended), there’s more!

The stress of my job is killing me.  I was out of work from July 2016 through April 2017.  That was brutal on so many levels.  In May and June 2017, I had a temp job and that made things easier.  But, it wasn’t an answer.  Finally, in July 2017, a year after I got laid off, I found a permanent job.  Well, at least that’s what I thought…

I am there 5 months now.  I doubt it will be much longer.  It’s so hostile there that it was actually more stressful being out of work.  Go figure!

What’s been going on since my last post?  Three days after that, my dad was rushed to the hospital with multiple organ failures.  We – and his doctors – thought he was going to die.  By some miracle, he pulled through it.  It was 2 weeks in the hospital followed by 3 weeks at a nursing facility.  He’s home now – and not out of the woods yet.  But, for the last month, I have been balancing support of my mother, the insane situation with my job, and my regular family life.  That means zero time for exercise and a lot of stress eating.

Lastly, now, I have injured myself.  It was the morning after Thanksgiving.  At this stage, everything points to torn bicep tendons and surgery.  I will know more this week.

I am really not sure how much more I can take?


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Hello There

I went running after breakfast today.  It’s the first time running in 184 days.  Yes, it’s been SIX MONTHS!  And, I am 25 pounds overweight with the scale sitting on 208 pounds. So, how do you think it went?

I hit the wall at the 1.37 mile mark.  (Ugh!)  From there, I did the alternating walking and running thing – and it was a lot of walking.  All told, I did the 3.1 miles in 34:42.  (And, I really felt it!)

Frankly, I had no excuse.  Today was the first weekday (non-holiday) off from my slave-drive job since I started.  And, the weather is BEAUTIFUL this morning.  And, I felt OK and had no family obligations.  If I can get in a run on a day like today, I might as well burn my running stuff.

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Remember me?  Well, it’s good news and bad news.

My back finally got better.  Took forever.  But, I don’t even think about it these days.  That’s good.  Even better, I got a permanent job.  I applied for a job on May 27th as a shot in the dark.  They called me on May 31st.  First came the phone interviews.  Then, I went in for an in-person interview on June 20th – one year to the day of when my layoff at the other job started!  Well, two days later, they made me an offer and I accepted.  Staying on the good news part:  It’s a great company, the pay is good, and it is a nice career move as it really expands my work experience.  Started the job on July 10th.  (Now there one month.)

Now, the bad news:  The job is SUPER busy.  There are days where I literally don’t have time to eat lunch or take a piss.  I sit at my desk or in meetings ALL DAY.  And, the only feasible way for me to get there is to take two trains each way – and it’s a TWO HOUR commute EACH WAY, everyday.

So, this is now my day:  Get up at 5:30 AM.  On the train platform at 6:45 AM.  At the office at 8:20 AM.  Leave work at 5:40 PM (and get looks for leaving when others are staying).  Back on the train.  Transfer to the other train.  Get home at 7:30 PM.  Eat dinner.  Spend an hour trying to figure out what’s going on with my family – who I barely see these days.  Then, start to pass out at 9 PM because I need to get out at 5:30 AM and am exhausted from the day.

It’s repeated, every day.  And, on Saturdays, I take about a half day each week to just try and recover from the week.

Exercise?  When???  I haven’t done anything in FOUR MONTHS.

You would think I would have lost weight with not having time to eat, being in the office, extra.  No dice.  I have been stuck at 204 pounds since I started there.  Probably because of all the sitting, etc.

I really don’t have an answer.  But, at least I can sleep at night because I know that I can pay bills now.

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Where Do I Start?

It’s been 40 days since my last update?  What, the, ….?

Where do I start?  The ten days that followed my last post are a blur.  I really don’t remember what happened there?  I suppose I was busy with interviews, family stuff, weather, etc.  I really would have to go back and piece it all together to figure it out.

April 30th, I remember.  That’s the day that I destroyed my back putting water into my car at Costco.  Worst, back, injury, ever.  I was SCREAMING with pain.  The first week of it, I was truly disabled.  A pure mess.  Pain was off the charts.  I was living on Advil and everything else that I could throw at it.

May 8th, I remember.  I was still hurting.  But, I was also starting a temp job.   In an office, 45 minutes away.  Still on Advil.  Still hurting.  Yet, I could not miss the chance at some income – even a really reduced income.  After being out of work for 11 months, you have to do SOMETHING.

The next week, the third week after destroying my back, it was still hurting – but not as bad.  It wasn’t until May 21st that my back started feeling better.  But, finding a chance to run was still hard.  Every morning, I’m out of the house at 7:30 AM and off to work.  And, I am exhausted by the time I get home.  Plus, there’s always family stuff.

I thought this weekend would be the start of it. But, I hurt my back again – in a different spot – sleeping funny on the couch after my dog got me up too early.  I had to Advil my way through that one too.  Just today, it’s starting to get better.

Tomorrow will start Week 4 of the temp job.  I need to get myself grounded and into some sort of a routine.  I can’t imagine how bad it will be when I try and run again.  I am WAY out of shape now.  It’s really sad.

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Back At It

I went for a 5K run before lunch today.  I was not really in the mood for it.  And, it was chilly – fifty, but, with NO SUN.  Yet, I really had no excuse not to go.

I ran the whole 3.1 miles in 29:47.  Better than nothing.

I have now run 198.4 miles since Memorial Day.  I am never going to get that 310 goal.  I won’t even match the 272.8 miles that I did the year before this goal.  At this rate, I would be luck to hit 250 miles this go-round.

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I went for a 5K run after breakfast.  First time out in nearly three weeks.  It was perfect weather out  there – sunny, fifty and a slight breeze.

The battery in my GPS went dead.  I probably covered the 3.1 miles in 29:45, which I will take – all things considered.

I have now run 195.3 miles since Memorial Day.

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That’s the number on the scale today.  Pretty much what it was 10 weeks ago too.

Thanks to Facebook, I recently was reminded of a photo of me from this time 5 years ago.  It was a post-race photo.  At that time, I weighed 172 pounds.  My wife was shocked when I showed her the photo.  That hurt.  She’s also been ragging on me, when she has the chance, about my weight now.

It’s no secret that I need to lose 20-25 pounds.  I feel it.  I can barely get into my “fat jeans” and it’s a struggle to find a t-shirt that fits without being embarrassing.  And, I know what I need to do to lose the weight.  Yet, I can’t seem to control myself.

I’ll be 55 in about 6 months.  It’s amazing how much I have fallen in the last 5 years.

It really started once I began working from home, 100%, at the start of 2013.  Being out of work for the last 10 months as only made it worse.

I’m really at a tipping point in so many ways.  The biggest question now is the matter of the direction from here.  Keep going south, or, turn it around?

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Not Dead Yet

I went for a 5K  run at 10:30 AM today.  First time out in 9 days.  Same old excuses.

It was cool – in the low 40′s – but, sunny.  I ran the whole 3.1 miles and finished strong.  Total time was 29:10.

I have now run 192.2 miles since Memorial Day.

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Trying To Get Back

I went for a 5K run before lunch today.  First time out in THREE WEEKS.  All sorts of excuses – depression, job interviews, weather – including a fluke snow and ice storm last week!

I ran the whole 3.1 miles in 29:50.  It was HARD.  But, at least I ran the whole thing.

I have now run 189.1 miles since Memorial Day.

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I went for a 5K run this morning after breakfast. It was warm (55 degrees) but cloudy.  (It started to rain on me as I was finishing.)

This was my first time out in 5 days.  I had family stuff over the weekend and I had job interviews to deal with on Monday and Tuesday.

I wasn’t really into it.  I am just too depressed and stressed over the job stuff.  It’s been more than 8 months since I was laid off and it now being a new month, and a new round of bills, is pushing me over the edge.

But, I went anyway.  At the onset, I got a cramp/pull in my right arch.  But, I powered through it.

Total time for the 3.1 miles was 28:57.  Blah.

I have now run 186 miles since Memorial Day.

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